My trophies

So the above image demonstrates the culprits of the most excruciating pain I have had in years! Yes, those are the two kidney stones, (that is my thumb for reference) that I passed on Friday. The fact that these two passed is a natural phenomena in itself, due to their sheer size. I am really lucky as if they would have moved side by side I am pretty sure they would have got stuck.. that is the biggest fear of kidney stones in terms of problems. If you are unaware let me enlighten you, the stones are hard like rocks and joyfully cut their way through my ureter as they travel from my kidney to my bladder where they then make another painful journey out the pee hole! um ya a solid particle exiting out a hole which has liquid go through it.

This great story began at 10:45 a.m. on Friday while I was at the City library with Kyan and Declan. I have an ultra high threshold for pain but these caused me the death pain, the kind that causes nausea and near vomiting, sweating, and the inability to sit, lie, stand, crouch, walk or pace. All of the above I tried in the attempt to find some comfort while the pain meds kicked in and with an unsatisfactory result. So after 45 minutes of silent writhing as not to scare my boys, Mark called up my best girl Tracy to take me to the E.R. for the real pain relief.. straight line morphine to the vein.. AAAAHH instant relief in this case. A much desired method at that time. Remind you I had already taken pain medication and it wasn't touching the pain.

So we enter the very crowded ER, I sign myself in and begin the wait. As I wait I head to the bathroom for the umpteenth time to go pee or at least try. Which is a common symptom the urge to pee but nothing but a trickle. While there I get the last excruciating burst of pain as the cork pops and out plunk these two little stones.

Still amazed I come exit the bathroom telling Tracy, you won't believe what just happened she smiled "I can tell by your face. " So feeling 3,000000000 times better I go to the front desk and say you can pull my chart, I solved the problem on my own you can rip it up and pretend that I am not here.. she does and we are on our way to my urologist. To present them with my trophies. While there I get the astonishment face of anyone who connects this feat, they show each other behind the desk all in utter disbelief. Several comments such as are you okay? you can handle natural childbirth and my favorite.. Oh my God!

So Tracy and I head home and stop for lunch to celebrate! PHEW!

Now those who have ever wondered what it looks like or what is like here you go.

Isn't it obvious?!

ok so I know we are trained again and again to help the elderly and disabled when in need that is the what good people do for courtesy. Nothing is ever mentioned about helping a mother when she is in need with her three children... that is obvious. So I understand I have three boys, its my choice to have kids and my choice to take them in Public. However, why is that when you are clearly in desire of some additional assistance even if just for a moment that help is not available yet, gasps, looks and snickers are plentiful. The story goes as this.... I venture out into the world of movies with all boys in tow. We meet our friends out in front with the huge crowd of other families. We are purcahsing our kids combo. Which includes a lovely tray of popcorn and a small drink. Not a lot, but multiply that by three, and three kids 1 extra pop and two hands. Also keep in mind that this day is a movie days for moms/kids cheap tickets during the day. Therefore, the amount of offspring and adults is astounding. A crowd large enough to open three theatres. As I comple the ordering, I direct my eldest boys with jobs to assist getting us from counter to ticket taker to theatre with as little problems as posibble. Therefore, I take out one pop give it to Kyan to hold only ( two hands 1 item fool proof right?). Jayden holds one popcorn tray. Then... as I am finishing the payment process I hear from a voice behind me, "uh oh" the women waiting notices that Jayden has just dropped the popcorn on the floor at the counter. I look at the mound of popcorn strewn about and make a comment to Jayden about this mess and then look to the server gal whose eyes have moved past me onto the next customer. We take what we can and try busily to finish it up as the 50 people waiting in line behind me are giving that look. I mention to the young girl behind the concessoion stand that we spilled, hoping that she would refill. Nope she says no worry and pushes me off. I still move onward to avoid a mauling from the line of mothers getting snacks for their kids. I trek onward balancing two kids trays,a pop and my toddlers hand as he screams in terror by the masses. I finally reach the ticket guy and BAM toddler crashes to the floor and bumps his head. "Shit" I say in my head as I am pushed while people walk by looking at me and seeing my child crying on floor laying flat, me leaning over to aid him, while keeping the pile of popcorn and drinks from faultering and my eye on the other wandering children. I manage to get him off the floor and walk him to the theatre. So I ask this..... as a bystander isn't it obvious that an extra hand would have been helpful to me at that moment? While I am attending to my toddlers screams of pain and balancing a tower of food could one person simply offer me a may I help you or let me get that popcron tower for you while you help your child? NO one could not. Apparently in our society we are so accustomed to helping the elderly and disabled that a woman with her hands full is not a priority. Just for a second. But to all it is my own fault I did all that and why should we help? Your the dumbass that tried to do it all at once. Point taken but does still mean no help at all.

If you can't beat em, creatively join em

Ok, so I have finally decided my role in this troop of boys is many.. However, at this moment it is working with the grossness. I have found myself coming up with creative ways to use it to my advantage and get my pleas for proper talk and behaviors instilled. Thus, the Common Acronym.. used for two major tasks. In our house flushing the toilet, and washing hands are the tasks upon which boys seem to disregard. Mind you all my boys are really young almost 6, 3 and 20 months and well throw in the husband and you have my Troop 5112. All my daily naggings of this task has moved to a sing song of delight.. thanks to my creative force for hygenic tasks. Let me reveal to you the Acronym of toileting .......we have P.F.W or pee/poop, flush and wash. It is a miracle, I find myself in sheer joy to hear my little ones singing PFW accompianied by the swishing of toilet water and fast flow of water.... a great harmony. Simple is the trick... and well any excitement from me towards these things goes a looooooooooooooong way. Your are a cool mom if you get the gross boy stuff and find it humorous in anyway. My second masterpiece in the boys self directed tasks again use the acronym see if it can work again..to help be sure the stinkiest of places really gets a good scrub. PPCF another one of simplicity that works to asist with bathing techniques.....suds surround those regions of smell. Oh and if you can't get it.. its Pits, Penis Cracks and Feet.

The chromosone has it.....

Kids do say the darnedest thing... or in my family.. Boys say the darnedest thing..... Life with boys is so strange... I constantly refer to my husband for explanation for "Why the ongoing poop, pee, butt jokes? Of course, being male his answer " they are boys?" Truth is in Y chromosone. As a girl I don't recall me or any of girlfriends ever speaking as highly of these body parts and functions. The occasional snicker but not the never ending explosion of grossness. As the female in this troop, I consistently spend time discussing appropriate talk of which does not include any excrement. Alas the fascination of toilet talk is dominating...and my speech washes away...well with the water. Their cuteness and innocence does offer them a bit of respite. Exhibit A: middle child-Kyan; When asked "Why do you talk about poop so much? He responds without hesitation and that facial gesture of duh.... "uuh....because it's funny!" I rest my case.